So here am I on holidays, working on my ‘holiday project’ which is a sampler quilt for my 13 year old daughter. I love that quilt……absolutely love it and I thought she did too!!!!! So you can imagine my disappointment when she dropped that bombshell! And here was I feeling like such a bad mother because I’ve been making clothes for myself and cushions for my Etsy shop. I’ve been having sleepless nights over that quilt because I thought she was waiting on it.
So I’d promised her……..”..when we’re away…..one more block and it’s done.” This is one of the blocks.
And these are the fabrics
So. Do you think I was small enough to be upset? YES! And then some! I thought she loved it! She told me she loved it! It was to be the focal point of her room that we’re doing up! Now she tells me she wants one that you could buy off a rack for a couple of dollars! A mass produced quilt!
Well it took me a good 24 hours to recover from the shock. I couldn’t
even thread a needle. I decided I was completely over ‘handmade’. I read instead.
I mean…….she chose the fabric………..didn’t she? She asked for pale blue and white! Sure, there is a little bit of yellow thrown in and the blue is not entirely pale, granted. And yes, she did ask me to buy her a simple quilt cover but who wouldn’t want handmade from their mother? And I admit there is also a bit of navy and she hates navy. And she’s not mad about flowers but you can’t see those. Oh and she did say if she ever HAD to have yellow in anything it would have to be pastel. And I do know she despises Laura Ashley fabric but there is only a tiny little bit in there. How could she not like it? It’s exactly what she asked for!
Yes. She’s got me. I’ve fallen off the control freak wagon again.
Let me tell you a story. Ignore the gender aspects other than in relation to sewing. I am one of 5 children. 4 boys and me. I was reared in a ‘boy’ household by a mother who was a retro minimalist! And I craved all the trappings of femininity throughout my entire childhood. I wanted Queen Anne furniture, pink fluffy rugs, floral wall paper and cross over curtains…….and long hair tied in ribbons……you name it (all horrible, really) I wanted it. But my mother didn’t like it. She called it ’tissy’.
So all I ever really wanted was daughters and frills. By the time I got them I had developed very fixed ideas about how they would dress. My style is on the classic side and I absolutely completely and utterly shamelessly imposed that style upon their wardrobes. I still have the white sox with lace around the tops and the black patent shoes. I wouldn’t let them out of the house without ribbons in their hair and their dresses were high maintenance classic linen affairs……..beautiful…….but not their choice.
So we fought. They were as determined to do their own thing as I was that they would wear what I wanted them to.
And then I went back to work and everything changed. Apart from getting busy, I realised that I was stifling their creativity and development. Besides, I just didn’t have the energy to ‘control’. Suddenly it wasn’t important whether tops and bottoms matched. So I caved. And can I tell you, it was the best thing I ever did. I relinquished my control and embraced their own unique styles…….and my style grew and changed with them. I know that sounds corny but it’s actually true. My girls are 13 and 17 and both very different. They both adore fashion as do I and we three spend hours shopping, looking at magazines and discussing clothes. And we have a very healthy respect and appreciation of the sense of style of the other.
So. I will still complete the quilt and enjoy it myself and understand and accept that it is not my daughter’s taste. And I told her that.
And then the best thing happened! She asked me if I would buy her these…..
…..she wants to frame them and hang them in her room!!!! These are movie magazines that were published in Melbourne during the 1940s. I was tickled pink! What a marvellous sense of appreciation for the past..and her style! You see a classic girl like her mother after all! I’ll just have to make sure she ……….